Yay! It's awards season, once again! I have to say that the Golden Globes hosts this year were actually great! If you can't have Neil Patrick Harris, our host of hosts, and, well, we booked him first... Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were perfect substitutes!
By now, everyone has gotten the nominations for the Academy Awards and you are probably thinking, can I stay awake for this old school awards event with their desperate attempts at shaking things up with hosts who are either boring or nasty and insult the audience... I mean, Pleazzzzzzzzzzzzz! NPH would NEVER insult the audience. He is classy! So, if you want classy, plus surprising new nominations that you can cheer for... and we know you do, it's time to present the 4th Annual (can you believe it???) Kitty Awards for all you viewers (ok, readers) out there!Thanks for hosting, Neil! We love you!
Once again, the Kitty will go to the most deserving winners. Not the movies that cost the most, or the biggest stars. Using the Academy Awards nominees, below are the incredibly lucky stars and films that will win the Kitty!
OK, get ready, here is the first Award:
Best Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin, "Argo"
Christoph Waltz, "Django Unchained"
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, "The Master"
Robert De Niro, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Tommy Lee Jones, "Lincoln"
Richard Parker "Life of Pi"
And the winner...
Richard Parker!! Who could ever forget that role of a lifetime! And in 3D! Yes, RP, the Kitty is all yours! Congratulations!
Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, "The Master"
Anne Hathaway, "Les Miserables"
Helen Hunt, "The Sessions"
Jacki Weaver, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Sally Field, "Lincoln"
Best Actor
Bradley Cooper, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Daniel Day-Lewis "Lincoln"
Denzel Washington, "Flight"
Hugh Jackman, "Les Miserables"
Joaquin Phoenix, "The Master"
Get ready, folks...and the winner is Hugh Jackman!! That's right! None of the other AA nominees sang their way through such drama as you did. Again, Hugh, you will win many awards. None as meaningful as the Kitty, of course.
Emmanuelle Riva, "Amour"
Jennifer Lawrence, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Jennifer Lawrence, "The Hunger Games"
Jessica Chastain, "Zero Dark Thirty"
Naolmi Watts, "The Impossible"Quvenzhane Wallis, "Beasts of the Southern Wild"
And the winner...WOW! It's an upset! Jennifer Lawrence competing against herself! The Kitty Academy has not seen "Silver Linings etc" but we HAVE seen ""The Hunger Games" THREE times and read all the books so... Jennifer wins for her unforgettable portrayal of Katniss Everdeen in "The Hunger Games"!!!! Yay, Jennifer!!!
Here, to remind you of her Kitty Award winning performance is a memorable scene from "The Hunger Games":
Best Director
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Benh Zeitlan, Beasts of the Southern Wild
David O'Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Michael Haneke, Amour
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
While the Kitty Academy did enjoy Life of Pi and Beasts of the Southern Wild below are Best Director Nominee unrecognized for one of the BEST movies of the year:
Wes Anderson, Moonrise Kingdom.And...the winner is Mr. Wes Anderson!!! Way to go, Wes and keep those visionary masterpieces coming!
Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
A Royal Affair (Denmark)Amour (Austria)
No (Chile)
War Witch (Canada)
Kontiki (Norway)
Bullhead (Belgium)
Footnote (Israel)
In Darkness (Poland)
Monsieur Lazhar (Canada)
A Separation (Iran)
The Kitty Academy judges didn't see any new Foreign Language pictures in the movies this year , but we DID absolutely LOVE Miss Minoes (Netherlands) on Netflix! So we are adding that to the Foreign Films list:
Miss Minoes (Netherlands)
Here's a look at this great film:
And the winner...Hooray! Miss Minoes!!!
Best Animated Feature Film
Brave
FrankenweenieParaNorman
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck it Ralph
What? No Rise of the Guardians??? That was the only animated feature the judges spent money on, just so you know! So, we add that to the nominations list:
Original Score
Anna Karenina, Dario Marianelli
Argo, Alexandre DesplatLife of Pi, Mychael Danna
Lincoln, John Williams
Skyfall, Thomas Newman
What about Moonrise Kingdom? That had an absolutely enchanting and complimentary score!
And the award goes to Moonrise Kingdom!!! Have a listen:
Best Original Song
Before My Time, J. Ralph; Chasing Ice
Everybody Needs a Best Friend, Walter Murphy and Seth McFarlane; Ted
Pi's Lullaby, Mychael Danna and Bombay Jayashri: Life of Pi
Skyfall, Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth; Skyfall
Suddenly, Claude-Michel Schonberg, Herbert Kretzmer and Alan Boulil; Les Miserables
And the winner, Yay! "Suddenly" from Les Miserables, because who could resist Hugh Jackman singing this poignant love song. Certainly NOT the Kitty Academy judges!
Now, a MAJOR SURPRISE! Presenting the new Kitty Lifetime Achievement Award! The award honoring a star's fabulous accomplishments in the arts or whatever and our first winner is...wait for it: MADONNA!!! Inspired by listening to "Evita" in the judge's truck while driving to Michaels. What better way to choose a winner! Plus, she is the QUEEN of the history of the best videos ever. Here is a glimpse of her amazingness in "Evita:
And a look at one of her incredible videos, "Ray of Light", a later one, but you can pick any at random and give it an award:
Here you go, Madonna. Thank you for all your wonderfulness!
And now... the BIGGEST award of the night. Get ready, here are the nominees. Which picture will get the Kitty? It's exciting, yes...as it all comes down to this. Best Picture
Argo
Amour
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Django Unchained
Les Misérables
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
Moonrise Kingdom
And,the winner is MOONRISE KINGDOM!!! A perfect movie, with a perfect cast, soundtrack and cinematography, costumes and set design, all categories we haven't added (as this awards show takes ages to put together!!!) but are awarding them this once and are giving them ALL to
Moonrise Kingdom!!! :
Don't worry, kids! That map will get you and the Kitty Award back to New Penzance!
What a night! Hard to believe all the glamour and excitement has come to an end. Now, you just have to wait for all these films to be on DVD so you can watch them at home (where most of you have TVs the size of movie screens, anyway!).
Bye, Neil! You did a fantastic job once again! See you next year!!!